Sports Figures I Cant Stand
CANTSTANDYA!
Jonathan Papelbon: He actually does garner my #1 most hated of all athletes as his douchebag like demeanor on the mound evokes the feelings portrayed in Fight Club where Edward Norton decimates Jared Leto’s face. Add to the fire his comments about closing the all star game at Yankee Stadium over Mo and dancing like a jackass on the field in compression shorts and goggles. He’s number one for sure. If I could beat that smug look off your face I would die a happy man.
Tom Brady: His chiseled jaw and golden arm are not going to leave him off this list. Add to the fact that he’s a deciple of Bill Belicheck and he only gets worse. When you have one of the best offensive lines in all of football along with an airtight defense of course you’re going to win 3 super bowls. I could not have been happier when in the span of two games Eli Manning out Manning’s his brother to beat Brady for a super bowl and then in the next game goes down for the season against the lowly Chiefs. Tom, just retire now before you turn into Troy Aikman and enjoy time spent with a wife who makes more than you.
Jason Varitek: Generally everyone named Jason is pretty freakin awesome but there are always exceptions to the rule. He’s the heart and soul of the Red Sox and that ridiculous ESPN generated Red Sox Nation. He led the fracas in the 2004 between A-rod and himself at Fenway and will always be considered a douche for wearing that C on his jersey. Note that our captains don’t need any recognition on their uniforms. Everyone knows who the captain is, this isn’t hockey is it?
Bill Belicheck: I hate watching him in his cut off sweatshirts sulk along the sidelines. He has not made many friends during his tenure as a coach and continues to be one of the most hated coaches in all of sports. We understand you have your own coaching tree of deciples now but come on now Bill cheer up! Loves to trade down in the draft and make something out of nothing. 
Red Sox Nation: An ESPN manifestation where all sorts of fans seemed to come out of the woodwork after their 2004 WS victory. I understand
Jack “Blackjack” McDowell: Here’s someone you probably did not expect. He is a the schmuck who gave up the hit to Edgar Martinez in relief in game 7 of the 1995 ALDS. All but killing any dream of Mattingly winning a World Series as a player. In the same season he also flipped off the crowd while being booed off the mound during a game. Blackjack is now some crappy country singer, if you see him give him a punch in the stomach and say it was from me. Thanks, he’ll understand.
Kevin Youkilis: I really do like the way he plays baseball, but the fact that he plays that brand of baseball for the most hated team in all of sports automatically deems him unfit to root for. He is to the Red Sox what Paul O’Neill was to the Yanks. He’s a cocky S.O.B with a stupid looking facial hair arrangement.
Dustin Pedroia: See Youkilis. A nasty Napolean complex and an unwarranted MVP winner in 08’. He also looks like a rat.
Trot Nixon: If for any reason just because his name is Trot.
Carl Pavano: One of the biggest wastes of money ever to wear pinstripes. This speaks volumes due to the number of large contracts the Yankees have thrown around. He’s one of the most fragile overrated pitchers of all time. He’s the reason why contract’s shouldn’t be guaranteed in baseball.
Any coach for the Dolphins after Don Shula: Except for the current Parcell’s regime these coaches have managed to turn one of the greatest franchises of all time into a laughing stock of the NFL. (See Wandstedt, Jimmy Johnson, Nick Saban, Cam Cameron and interim coachJim Bates). Horrible drafts and poor coaching has left me hoping that Sparano is the next Shula.
This list is sure to grow so stay tuned..
-JB
Poor Showing
Based on this weekend's events, I’m ready to unload a can of whoop-ass. (See Stone Cold Steve Austin)
The Yanks got swept in a 3 game set in
Friday: Our offense once again was left bewildered as we went 4-16 with RISP. That simply cannot be the case all season if we want to win games this year. Successful teams of the past were able to capitalize with key hits and add those much needed insurance runs. Case in point, bases loaded in the top of the ninth with a 2 run lead and nobody out with Cano up at the dish. In this situation if you don’t score at least one run it is considered a major failure. Francona made a great managerial move by playing the infield in to cut the run off at home and Cano hits a hard ground ball to Pedroia for a 4-2-3 DP. The next batter flies out to end the inning and so continues the story of the Yankees ineptitude to hit with runners in scoring position.
Mariano looked good he just left a cutter in the middle of the plate against one of
Saturday: On a fantasy baseball note I have Beckett on both teams as well as Burnett on one of them. I benched Beckett on both and started A.J. I thought I was a genius after 4 innings. Beckett was near 80 pitches and had given up 6 runs while Burnett was cruising. Burnett then did everything in his power to shit the bed. The vital at bat was where A.J threw 3 straight curve balls to J.D Drew eventually walking him to put runners on 1st and 2nd. Later in the inning Jason Varitek, one of the most hated players in all of sports, deposits a first pitch fast ball into RF for a Grand Slam. On a side note, all of his RBI’s have come via the HR this season.
At this point I’m pretty livid but reassure myself that we still have a 6-5 lead. Around this point Joe Buck and his mentally bankrupt partner in crime Tim McCarver announce that the Yankees have not blown a 6 run lead to the Red Sox since the 70’s. Next inning A.J’s first batter is Elsbury who ties the game up at 6’s.
This is when I really start to throw back the tall boy’s. Now generally I’m not one to really drink that hard during Yankee games, especially against the sox due to the fact that I usually end up getting way too drunk/way too angry and objects are thrown across the apartment. (See October 2004 v
The game went back and forth from this point on and our bullpen looked absolutely dismal. I think we blew 2 more leads and went on to be the loser 16-11. I think when all was said and done I had thrown back 7 beers and was pretty well behaved but none all too happy.
Sunday: Not much I can say about this game, we once again couldn’t capitalize with RISP and Elsbury stole home on Pettitte for the first steal of home against the Yankees in 25+ years. If this is a year of firsts for the Yankees count me out, as I don’t want to hear those inane statistics. I admit I did not pay very much attention to the game as I was mentally bankrupt from the two performances on Friday and Saturday combined with two Benadryl’s to combat my allergies and a day full of sun.
On to the bright spots: Robinson Cano, this guy can flat out hit. Without Robbie we would be up shit’s creek without a paddle. I’ve been a big supporter of Robbie ever since he’s been with the Yankees. Just as I was a big supporter of Soriano when he made his way up through the system. I was present for his first HR in the big leagues against
On to non baseball news, the northeast is experience a summer esque heat wave for late April with temp’s in the mid 80’s and I intend to take advantage of it. I’m heading back to PK as we speak and would like to play at least 36 holes. In case you’re wondering why I am heading back to the land of my birth, Stan and Pam are currently in Paris for a week long vacation and have asked upon the elder statesmen that make up the Beinstein-Spieler clan to make sure that Ben doesn’t destroy the house or get into too much trouble. This affords me the opportunity to feed my soul with some much needed Mole Mole and some golf.
I fired an 86 from the back tees at the Links at Unionvale, one of the better rounds I've had in a while. The greens were in pretty shitty shape as they were being aerated for the season. I also collected about 15 balls so thats a plus.If I could play like this all season I'd be a happy man.
Subscribe by RSSCleats Up
Feed Me
Posts
All Comments
