Sports Figures I Cant Stand



Jonathan Papelbon: He actually does garner my #1 most hated of all athletes as his douchebag like demeanor on the mound evokes the feelings portrayed in Fight Club where Edward Norton decimates Jared Leto’s face. Add to the fire his comments about closing the all star game at Yankee Stadium over Mo and dancing like a jackass on the field in compression shorts and goggles. He’s number one for sure. If I could beat that smug look off your face I would die a happy man.


Tom Brady: His chiseled jaw and golden arm are not going to leave him off this list. Add to the fact that he’s a deciple of Bill Belicheck and he only gets worse. When you have one of the best offensive lines in all of football along with an airtight defense of course you’re going to win 3 super bowls. I could not have been happier when in the span of two games Eli Manning out Manning’s his brother to beat Brady for a super bowl and then in the next game goes down for the season against the lowly Chiefs. Tom, just retire now before you turn into Troy Aikman and enjoy time spent with a wife who makes more than you.


Jason Varitek: Generally everyone named Jason is pretty freakin awesome but there are always exceptions to the rule. He’s the heart and soul of the Red Sox and that ridiculous ESPN generated Red Sox Nation. He led the fracas in the 2004 between A-rod and himself at Fenway and will always be considered a douche for wearing that C on his jersey. Note that our captains don’t need any recognition on their uniforms. Everyone knows who the captain is, this isn’t hockey is it?


Bill Belicheck:  I hate watching him in his cut off sweatshirts sulk along the sidelines. He has not made many friends during his tenure as a coach and continues to be one of the most hated coaches in all of sports. We understand you have your own coaching tree of deciples now but come on now Bill cheer up! Loves to trade down in the draft and make something out of nothing.

Red Sox Nation: An ESPN manifestation where all sorts of fans seemed to come out of the woodwork after their 2004 WS victory. I understand New England is a large portion of the Northeast but they don’t deserve their own "nation". This I blame solely on the media and cancer like growth it took in the earlier part of this decade. I get it, you guys won two world series in the past 5 years but get over yourself, you’re not bigger than baseball. Add to this the evil empire moniker that Larry Luchino gave to the Yankees and I’m all but done with this.


Jack “Blackjack” McDowell: Here’s someone you probably did not expect. He is a the schmuck who gave up the hit to Edgar Martinez in relief in game 7 of the 1995 ALDS. All but killing any dream of Mattingly winning a World Series as a player. In the same season he also flipped off the crowd while being booed off the mound during a game. Blackjack is now some crappy country singer, if you see him give him a punch in the stomach and say it was from me. Thanks, he’ll understand.

Kevin Youkilis: I really do like the way he plays baseball, but the fact that he plays that brand of baseball for the most hated team in all of sports automatically deems him unfit to root for. He is to the Red Sox what Paul O’Neill was to the Yanks. He’s a cocky S.O.B with a stupid looking facial hair arrangement.


Dustin Pedroia: See Youkilis. A nasty Napolean complex and an unwarranted MVP winner in 08’. He also looks like a rat.

Trot Nixon: If for any reason just because his name is Trot. 

Carl Pavano: One of the biggest wastes of money ever to wear pinstripes. This speaks volumes due to the number of large contracts the Yankees have thrown around. He’s one of the most fragile overrated pitchers of all time. He’s the reason why contract’s shouldn’t be guaranteed in baseball. 


Any coach for the Dolphins after Don Shula: Except for the current Parcell’s regime these coaches have managed to turn one of the greatest franchises of all time into a laughing stock of the NFL. (See Wandstedt, Jimmy Johnson, Nick Saban, Cam Cameron and interim coachJim Bates). Horrible drafts and poor coaching has left me hoping that Sparano is the next Shula.


This list is sure to grow so stay tuned..